Thoughts

Okay So far life is alright I have my kids my Girl a house (Rent) A job (part time work two days a week sometimes one.) uh...Lets see I guess I am healthy lol I know I have no STD's at all so that is a plus and as Far as I know my girl doesn't Cheat on me. I am however bored with the life I lead. Like ok This life I have is so Vanilla. Plain and sometimes abit depressing ,like I have my Girl Friend she is mainly into alot of normal stuff She is Pretty great sexually pleasing though boring with day to day things. We have alot of kids and it gives us no chance to do things like normal couples should. Like Go out to the clubs go to movies (we watch movies on the net sometimes though) Eat out You know Do normal things like that. Recently we hit a snag in our relationship Something that involved another Female And it almost destroyed us. So now were trying to work things back together though I am finding it hard. She has changed alot She tries to keep me in the house keep me locked up like a prisoner I can't Talk to anyone eespecially a female Cause if I do I am planing to cheat or something Truth be told I am not. But her thoughts are saying I am. Now on the boring part I am bored with her like Okay I like having Choices in anything and everything I do. This inclued sex with different partners (all females) So you know. That makes our relationship so hard to do...To deal with At times I wish to leave But we have these kids and I wont lie I cry when I think Of them growing up with out me It kill me alot. so I do not leave I just stay and allow things to go how they are. Like We argue and she says things like She wishes I would leave and never come back she wishes I never came back into her life. She had a better life with out me. This and that and this If you have heard it once you have heard it all before. Now this is all stuff that hurts me Deeply but what Can I do leave? Miss out of my kids?...That shit would hurt like..I don't know nothing I have ever felt before. Well okay that is all for now. time to get back to my daily life. I shall continue later.